A Valentine's Post (Sepia Saturday 659)

G.046.03

My Valentine, Think of Me.
My air-ship is light,
my heart is free.
Young Cupid shall bear
my love to thee.

Min Valentin, Tänk på Mig.

Mitt luftskepp är lätt,

mitt hjärta är fritt.

Unge Cupid skall bära

min kärlek till dig.

To: Mr Gust Ekman, Galeton, Pa - Box 342
From: Gerda (Chicago, 14 Feb 1910)

Hjärtligaste hälsningar från syster Gerda

Lots of love from sister Gerda 

I'm going "off theme" (cars) this week, and doing a Valentine's post instead. Looking in the old postcard albums for a Valentine's card to serve as illustration, I found this airship, from 1910. The card was sent from my great-aunt Gerda to her brother Gustaf, while they were both living in America. 

. . .

Followers may remember that back in the autumn, I shared a series of letters written by my grandmother Sally (younger half-sister to Gerda and Gustaf above) to another Gustaf - my grandfather - while he was away doing his military service in 1925. At that point in time, they were still just friends.

Easter 1926 brought about a change in their relationship, as Gustaf then decided to reveal, by letter, that he had much deeper feelings for Sally than just friendship. That weekend, he wrote her two very long letters, declaring his love for her. It seems she responded to the first one in a face-to-face conversation, in which she "rejected" him. He followed up with an even longer letter, full of despair; to which he got a written reply, wishing for them to remain friends. How long it took them both to sort everything out between them, I still don't know. But because of one photo, also including Sally's older brother Carl, I know they must have become a "couple" before he died in September 1928, though.

The letters from Easter 1926 are long, introspective and full of heartache. I'm not going to render dem in full, but will summarize briefly what I learned from reading/transcribing them. 

On Thursday morning at 2 a.m. (that would be 1 April, 1926), Gustaf - obviously sleepless - decided he could not keep his feelings for Sally to himself any more. He had to tell her; and as it seemed he was never able to be alone with her for long enough, he must write a letter instead. 

A budding journalist, at age 22, he was a man of words - and put all his dramatic talent to use in this love letter (4 pages). He starts off cautiously with "Perhaps this letter will surprise you, perhaps not" but the more he writes, the more he gets carried away - I'd say to the point of emotional blackmail: "I don't want your compassion, but all your love, and I won't settle for less --- then I'd be left with ruined illusions and broken dreams..."  And then, at the end, suddenly a suprising confession of other kind: He asks her forgiveness for having taken (stolen) a letter of hers, which he's now returning. Whether that letter was written by Sally to someone else, or by someone else to her is not clear. But obviously there is a rival in the picture! Which I suppose may have been what made him decide to tell her his feelings in the first place...

The next letter is also from Gustaf to Sally, and written on Easter Monday (7 pages). In between, on Easter Eve, they've obviously had a talk face to face, but he hadn't felt able to express all he wanted then. It also seems Sally had then indicated that if he had confessed his feelings for her like two years earlier, she might have given him a different answer. 

Gustaf now puts renewed effort into convincing her that he has loved her for much longer than that - and also that the Rival can't possibly love her more than he does. And while the letters she wrote to Gustaf while he was away at military service the year before had made him increasingly aware of his feelings for her, he had indeed even felt jealous of some other boy courting her as far back as when he himself was only 16... (Sally was four years older than Gustaf - who was a childhood friend of her younger brother, Nils.)

He also again expresses utter despair at the thought of what to do with his life if she rejects him - now also realising that if he must stay away from her, he also won't be able to enjoy the company of the rest of her family any more - which would leave him feeling all alone in the world... (G. was born out of wedlock; his mother had mental health problems and was in an asylum since many years; his grandmother who raised him now dead; and he did not get along very well with his grandfather.) Towards the end of the letter, he also asks Sally to pray for him - as his own faith is gone. 

In reply to this letter, there is one from Sally (4 pages), written the next Thursday, and starting: "I too had a lot more to say to you on Saturday night, but I couldn't then. I'm also not sure I'll be able to express in writing how I feel."  She goes on to explain that she had had no idea that he had loved her for that long, and she doesn't think he had ever showed that, as he'd been dating (or showing interest in) several other girls over the years. (Thea is mentioned by name in this context - she was also mentioned more than once in the letters Sally wrote to Gustaf while he was away in military service; and when I was reading those letters I did have a feeling that she was probably feeling some jealousy towards Thea.)  

Sally then goes on to write about her own faith in God, and the comfort it gives her. She is glad he asked her to pray for him, as that request means a lot to her. She also confesses that the disdain he has sometimes shown for spiritual matters has indeed sometimes hurt her and made her remain silent rather than argue. 

Towards the end, she asks him not to stay away but to keep coming to visit them just as he used to. She'd be devastated if he stopped coming because of her - and what would the rest of the family think?! Her brother Nils (Gustaf's friend since childhood) probably suspects something already. And as for herself... "I'll never want to lose your friendship, Gustaf. Your friend, Sally."

. . .

While I don't know how long it took them after this to sort things out between them, at least I know that they did eventually get there. :)

I have one set of letters left to explore, written by Sally in 1929-30,  the year between their engagement and their marriage. It  seems Gustaf was living in town then, working full time for a newspaper; so that some matters had to be dealt with by letter. I only have hers to him (not his to her), but as Sally often writes about "everyday" things (about life on the farm etc) I'll be sharing at least parts of some of those in posts to come - also hoping to find some photos in the albums to match.

Linking to Sepia Saturday 659